Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Lady GaGa vs. Cellulitous...Yikes!

I love love love Lady GaGa, and sooo want to be her bestie, but if we've learned anything from curvalicious 'Yonce, it's that a good pair of tights does wonders on stage, fo real. And GaGa could have used them earlier this month when she performed at Z100's annual Madiosn Square Garden fĂȘte, Jingle Ball. Cellulite isn't really curable, but it's disguisable.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Okay, Tiearra Mari

I gotta give the girl props for staying in the game after Jigga Man replaced her with a more appealing version of herself (read: Rihanna). But Tiearra should definitely shy away from looks that resemble Beyonce. Originality is key these days...sort of.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Black Listed/ White Listed

Cupcakes, mistletoe, ornaments, and ah, yes, a black person. Apparently that's the order for holiday parties these days, according to Gawker. The site basically dubs black people the newest December accessory and goes on to list the top ten blacks (socialites, fashion folks and the like) that will make the perfect guest this season. Uhhhh **blank stare**. Someone please tell me that this foolishness is not what post-racial America is all about. But hey, if that's how we're going to play, so be it. If I had a party, saturated by my wonderful successful black friends, I'd be eyeing for diversity, too. And not just any 'ol bits of multicultiness--the right folks. And here they are...

White Listed:

John Demsey, Chairman of the M·A·C AIDS Fund and President, Estee Lauder

We love M·A·C, and we also love a company that champions diversity and AIDS awareness.

Maroon 5

Great music. Great band. We like.

Lydia Hurst (so long as she brings mom, Pattie)

Lydia's pretty hot, but the mom's is a Old-G.

Janice Dickinson

There is the possibility that homegirl might get slapped for coming out of her mouth and calling the wrong thick chick fat, but noting all the black people who Janice works with on her show (ranging from photographers to bookers to models) I can't help but think there's a little something something JD has that black folks like. Perhaps it's the honesty? I think that's it.

Al Pacino and Robert De Niro

Because every black dude loves to pretend to be a gangster/hustler and so does Al Pacino. And because De Niro loves the chocolate.

Jay Leno

Honestly, black people just don't get white comedians' humor...75% of the time. It's often the kind of sarcastic, over intellectualized, anecdotal nonsense that would get a comedian tap danced right off the Apollo stage. But Leno comes correct every time, and represents late nights for his White brethren. Triple snaps.

John Mayer

He's got that cocky Kanye black man swagger, and as much as I hate that ish, it's also kinda sexy. I also can't say I like how he blasted his relationship with Jessica Simpson, but..."Say what you need to say," right? Whatevs, the Ladies Love Cool John.

Julia Beverly, Ozone Magazine, Publisher and Editor

While I don't like all white folk who make their buck off the creativity of black folk, JB is not one to hate. And if you're a rapper, promoter, producer, pimp...whatever, in the South, it's best that you stay on her good side. Homie is a real lover of hip hop and in a more demur way than Janice, will tell you like it is (or maybe she'll just blow up your spot in the next issue of Ozone). I'm also very thankful that she (and my homie Eric) gave me a ride back to Atlanta from All Star Weekend. Good lookin', JB!

The Donald and Ivana (on opposite sides of the room)

He can tell you how to get rich...and so can she.

Dani Stahl, Nylon Magazine, Style Director

This "It" chick is often descried as the life of the party. Fun, fashionable, and of course elite by rearing, Stahl might add a bit of eccentricism to the mix without looking over exposed (Olivia Palermo), or over dressed (Mary-Kate Olsen) or overdosed (Peaches Geldof).

Brad Pitt

He's an awesome papa to baby Z and hella good looking. Props for dating Robin Givens back in the day, although I'm still not sure how I feel about her. And we definely applaud his efforts in New Orleans.

Britney Spears

We're less likely to host a party featuring coke, Oxycodone or whatever else she was on last year, so we think Brit Brit would be a fun loving guest. And while she's around, someone can fix her damn weave. Yes yes, y'all. Just stay away from taken men, Brit Brit.

Anderson Cooper

He's really Gloria Vanderbilt's kid but you'd never know it; he worked his way up, and from what it seems, keeps a very humble posture. I've also read that he's a fan of Sean Jean, Roca Wear and takes special liking to NeNe from The Real Housewives of Atlanta. The Silver Fox is not in peril on Black Planet. No way.

Nicole Richie ?!

We'd invite her because she'd be in the room thinking she's White Listed. Little does she know we'd have Essence and Ebony on board to make sure she answers questions about being a woman of color. **Awkward**.

The Usuals: Bill Clinton, Tom Cruse, Robin Thicke, Eminem, The Dave Matthews Band (surprising, I know), Mark Ecko, Kim Zolciak of The Real Housewives, ATL

Probation until 2010: Justin Timberlake
Yes, homie has had soul for a very long time and generally black people like him. But, JT is still on probation until 2010. You gotta be in it when the going gets tough.

Others banned: Donnie Klang, because the ish was a hot wannabe mess; Aubrey O'day and Sienna Miller, or any other white girl possibly sleeping with Diddy; Brandon Davis, because we don't want disinherited billionaire trash, either.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Vibe Vixen Relaunch!?

The last cover, August 2007 :(

As some of you know, I am looking for a J-O-B. So what did I find while scoping the mediabistro listings? Two Vibe Vixen positions!? I don't have enough experience for either (which is why I'm mentioning them here), but won't it be awesome if VV makes a come back? We're still waiting on Suede's triumphant return (but I won't hold my breath). Well, if you're back, VV, I'm elated. Join the Facebook VV page, I created it :).

Monday, December 22, 2008

Kira Plastinina-poo Closing

This is really ironic because a few days ago I was searching the net to find out how [poor] sales have been for U.S. Kira Plastinina stores. Everytime I'd pass the poorly shopped 34th street location I'd wonder just how much longer this store could go on. And what do you know?! 10 out of the 12 Plastic-poo U.S. stores are closing their doors over the next two weeks. It's about time. Lil Kira has been paying celebs (and maybe Teen Vogue, too) to make her brand seem cool, but no amount of celebuspawn endorsements could save this tacky seven-years behind fashion faux pas from retail destruction. Happy Christmas/Boxing Day, Plastic-poo! Having a Russian billionaire pops might get you the store, Kira, but that doesn't mean your designs are cut out for the U.S. Have fun in Kazakhstan. Haha!

Please, Paris. Do not act like you were really trying to wear this child's clothing.


Oh, in case you're not familiar with Plastinina's clothes (you lucky son of a guns) here's a few items from Kira's website, which are all now 75% off.


Donatella and Allegra

Here's a picture of mother-daughter team Donatella and Allegra Versace, taken a few months ago. Something's not looking right here...

From a very loving and thick black chick (me) to a clearly malnurished Italian pair (above), I present you with.....

A well-lubed bbq chicken wing.
Pick up, place in mouth, chew and then swallow. Don't forget the swallow part, ladies.

Hot mamas! Marian Shields Robinson and Adrienne Banfield

Ever wonder what Michelle Obama and Jada Pinkett-Smith have in common? Well, aside from the obvious (a great husband, kids and career), both these ladies have fierce mothers. Grandmama Obama, Marion Robinson, looked hella fierce Nov. 4 and Adrienne Banfield totally outshined Jada at the The Day the Earth Stood Still premiere. Since my grandmother was quite the fiece one herself, I've got nothing but love for the ladies over 55 who can still rock a hot outfit. Get 'em, Ladies.

I swear he could get these two confused.

Don't Marion and Michelle look just like Michelle and Sasha? So cute.

Adienne Banfield (Jada's momsy)

Watch ya man, Katie!

Just fabulous!

I'm back (again)

I was going to restart my blog in the new year, but seriously, how often do we make New Years Resolutions and break them by mid-January? I don't want to do that...again. So since I have the urge to reinitiate ATB today, I'm doing it now.

This weekend I attended a fab (or shall I say well-liquored) dinner with some other NYC bloggers. Boca Chica is def. one of my favorite eats and we definitely had a good time. Hopefully the people sitting next to us didn't mind all the joviality, 'cause we got down! Big ups to Ebonne
for putting it all together.

Yes, a cute clique indeed.

Charreah, Ebonne and Me

Thanks for the drinks, Daniel. (Yes, I'm that kind of girl.)

For more pics, and hilarious commentary, check out:

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Good Ish: B-Relaxed Jackfruit Guava Vitamin Water

I'm so glad stores are finally carrying my favorite flavor of Vitamin water, B-Relaxed. It's fruity, light and more tropical tasting than the other flavors. Me likey. Check it out.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

When fASHion attacks

Looks like Dawn got some fairy ash on those knees. In addition to the four layers of visable solid she applied to her underarms. I know DK is going through some ruff times, but don't let it show, Dawn. We actually like you. LOTS.

Slash is black???!!!!!

All you Guns N Roses fans...well, actually, people who have a general knowledge of pop culture will be stunned to find out that Slash is the B word. No, not behind bars, bailed out or back. As the HBO documentary The Black List: Volume One showed, dude is BLACK!!!! Puzzled? Yeah, me too. To be accurate, Slash is half Nigerian and half Jewish-British. An interesting observation, nonetheless. I guess now I see it [side glance]. Or maybe I'm late. But I def. didn't get the Jennifer Beals sniff-a-black with this one. Some of y'all know what I'm talking about.

Fashion Week Welcome Back!!!!

Alright y'all, I've been a little absent (blame it on the sun, the mundanity of everyday work, or maybe summer induced laziness). But do not fear, lovely cakes; fall is back and so am I! So what better way commence a new season than with a lil style, right? New York was all a buzz this past week as Mercedes Benz Fashion Week took center stage in Bryant Park. My fav look for Spring 09? WHITE! I've picked out some highlights from top collections. Let me know what you think.





3.1 Phillip Lim



Rock & Rebublic

Reem Acra



L'Wren Scott

Monique Lhuillier

Oscar de la Renta

Jenni Kane

J. Mendel

Issac Mizrahi

Okay, Close your eyes, click your heels three times and visualize....

Yeah...stark resemblance to good 'ol witch Glenda's get up. Is that intentional?

Herve Leger by Max Azria

Basically I've highlighted the whole damn line. Bandage dresses, clearly, are still in.




Diane von Furstenberg.
I betcha Mariah loves the butterflies on this number.

Derek Lam

Carolina Herrera

My oyster (inside joke) Arlenis Sosa. Otherwise known as Ms. Fashion Week Spring '09 (or at least to me).

Herrera herself. I bow my hat.